Recently while putting away some kitchen utensils I saw a small butane lighter I had been searching for several weeks. It was in the utensil holder handle side down and only the wand was visible. I had looked at that container many, many times and had never seen the wand because I was looking for the handle. In that moment of recognition I wondered what else was right before my eyes that I was not seeing.
Your vision is clouded by your expectations, your prior experiences, your judgments and your fears. What is the opportunity, gift, person or miracle that you are not seeing clearly that is right in front of your eyes? Take a moment to think about your life. Where are you experiencing frustration or difficulty; where do you operate on auto-pilot?
Is there someone in your life who just can’t seem to get with the program; is always on another page and you are at your wits end? You’ve tried every trick you know to resolve your differences and nothing seems to work. What if you were to look at what is right in front of your eyes that you are not seeing?
Close your eyes and visualize windshield wipers wiping clear the clouded and muddy window in front of you; cleaning off your preconceived judgments and expectations. Bring that person into your mind and look at them as if you had never seen them before; look with fresh eyes. Without judgment and from a place of curiosity, step back and see all facets of that person– physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. What gift do they bring you? Is it their compassion, their humor, their loyalty, their willingness to risk being authentic, their passion…..? Step inside that person and see what the world looks like from their eyes. What does it feel like from that place?
Christina Baldwin in The Seven Whispers says, “To love the folks in front of us asks us to look for the good in other people, even if we don’t think it is there.” What good have you not been seeing about this person? When you recognize them from this deeper place take a moment to appreciate what they bring to your life and express gratitude for them and what you have learned. As you expand the way in which you experience the other person notice how your relationship with them changes.
This same technique can be used with a challenging project at work or any situation where you feel stuck. When you are in that stuck place there is something right before your eyes that you are not seeing. Use the windshield wipers and expand your field of vision to see the gift in the situation; give thanks and move forward. As the ancient poet Rumi said, “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I will meet you there.” Meet them there and the answer will be right in front of your eyes.
©Carol McKeag, Coaching for Life & Spirit